Science Expert: true General Artificial Intelligence is impossible because it would be suicidal Relatively sad news from one of prestigious AI institutes crushed dreams of many researchers and corporations heavily investing in AI. Experts in the field came to a unanimous conclusion: true
Web Cryptocurrency people successfully ruin words 'crypto' and 'web', seek next target During the annual Centralized Cryptocurrency Conference Planning (CCCP) leaders of the cryptocurrency community officially declared the successful completion of the first two "Ruin The Word" projects. It was reported that
Apps Dev builds perfect note-taking system which only stores info about building note-taking systems It's a remote dream for some professionals, but for Miriam K., a senior developer from Houston, the dream became reality when she finally completed her perfect note-taking system comprised of
Programming Dev recovered from COVID now prefers Material Design due to permanent loss of taste Friends and colleagues of Austin G.R. Floss are trying to accept the fact that all software projects created from now on by the talented developer will be based exclusively
Hardware Expert says IoT and smart home devices are "very safe because they barely work anyway" The world of IoT (Internet of things) and smart home devices is viewed by many as wild west, with questionable security practices, numerous vulnerabilities and a large attack vector. Despite
Web U.S. Department of Health recognizes Webpack-related tasks as hazardous job; devs required to see therapist Soon after British NHS has added web-development to the list of "mentally dangerous activities", the U.S. Department of Health went further and officially recognized the presence of any Webpack-related
Hardware Touchscreen-operated Bluetooth printer/projector with Zoom integration declared Antichrist by Catholic Church An ambitious hardware project is facing difficulties soon after raising more than 1.4M USD on Kickstarter. Apparently, the new, glossy touchscreen-operated, bluetooth-powered printer/projector combination device with native Zoom
Science Researchers create new filesystem to accommodate size of node_modules While old-timers may remember the limitations that FAT32 filesystem had on file size, users of modern filesystems rarely think about such fundamental issues. The first people to experience the old
Science Bot marks climate change issue as stale because it has not had recent activity Digitalization of world governments brings great results. As soon as a github-style Bot was deployed to analyze world issues, the whole climate change thing was immediately marked as stale because
Apps Linux laptop user claims her life is flawless, then proceeds to list 48 health problems 2021 is the year of the Linux Desktop according to Kaya, an enthusiastic GNU/Linux user with many years of experience running various distributions on multiple machines. In an interview
Design Startup raises $133M to build ML/AI-powered AWS icon recognizer Software engineers around the world will get a fantastic 2021 Christmas present, according to Jay Tzee, co-founder and CTO of Waldo, Inc, an ambitious startup from Califronia. Waldo just raised
Web Guy rewrites static site with React/GraphQL/AWS Lambda, successfully scales to 25 visitors per week After more than a dozen people visited a modest personal website written in pure HTML and served via nginx, its author decided to attack the upcoming scalability issue ASAP, and
Web Beginner installs all WordPress plugins, achieves quantum supremacy While Google, Microsoft and several other major players in the tech field work hard to create a fully functional quantum computer, an unexpected result was published in a Wordpress users
Web Apache Kafka gifts its name to Webpack Developers of Apache Kafka, open-source distributed event streaming platform, have decided that the name "Kafka" is better suited to describe Webpack, a popular web bundling utility. To make better use
Programming NoSQL fan hospitalized with alcohol poisoning after discovering PostgreSQL New Orleans, LA—A young web developer with extensive experience in NoSQL technologies such as MongoDB has been hospitalized with acute alcohol poisoning after attending a virtual meetup. The apparent
Apps WhatsApp considers removing words "Lucifer" and "Soul" from terms of service Menlo Park, CA—Sources within Facebook report that internal law department recommends updating the Terms of Service for WhatsApp, a popular messaging app. The update should remove mentions of "Lucifer"
Web Developers admit SSR stands for "Stockholm Syndrome Rendering" Server-side rendering (SSR) is a technique of rendering the state of a dynamic javascript frontend on the sever rather than on the client's browser. Allegedly, this technique improves performance and
Business Lawyers prohibit Google workers UNION, claim company is NoSQL Anonymous source from a major law firm claims that workers union at Google and Alphabet, Inc. may be an impossible dream because Google's corporate structure is schema-less NoSQL rather than
Programming VIM user goes missing after discovering mouse A French lifelong VIM user Albert Colónque gone missing hours after telling his coworkers via email about discovering a computer mouse for the first time. Family members and colleagues are
Web Apple M1 chip: insulting challenge to web developers Years of progress towards a slower web and heavier websites undone Apple M1 ARM-based chip architecture. Web developers worldwide, feeling personally insulted, unite with a common challenge. The PJSE (Put
Startups The Olognion Is Back! After months of drinking, we are back! This time, 100% community supported. No corporations, no investors. Basically, it's communism. Plans for 2021: Most Exquisite Tech News every week.New video
Programming Docker evangelist's will demands personal graveyard for single coffin A 17 sq. mi patch of forest near Waterloo, Ontario is about to be destroyed in order to clean up the plot for the construction of a large graveyard which
Startups Company forgets why they exist after 11-week migration to Kubernetes Xenobroom Inc., a young startup fresh out of Silicon Valley started a lengthy process of upgrading their server infrastructure back in May 2020. According to the remaining fragments of CEO's
Startups ‘Unicorn Valley’ claims to be Silicon Valley’s greatest rival An exclusive platform catering only to the most enlightened tech startups. The current worldwide crisis has led to a mass exodus in the Bay Area, leading to speculation that Silicon
Web Charlatan jailed for selling serverless hardware Marianne Mongo was sentenced to eleven months of jail in Bemidji, Minnesota after several customers of "No Server No Cry LLC" reported that the server hardware they have ordered weeks
