‘Unicorn Valley’ claims to be Silicon Valley’s greatest rival

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The current worldwide crisis has led to a mass exodus in the Bay Area, leading to speculation that Silicon Valley’s glory days are over.

Rising from the ashes of Silicon Valley is Unicorn Valley, a remote-first, decentralised, founder-worshipping startup platform that aims to disrupt the disruptors.

Several notable unicorns have already established themselves in Unicorn Valley, including:

• An antiviral IoT device which politely exhorts anyone invading your personal space to ‘Far Cough’

• An on-prem to cloud migration solution that promises to be the fastest and most painless in the industry

• A military contractor named Tehranos which specialises in precision manufacturing
  

If you have a truly excellent startup idea that really is too good for practical use, please consider submitting it to Unicorn Valley.

There are rumours that the Unicorn Valley founders offered our editors vast amounts of ‘BitCorn’ in exchange for an uncritically positive review in this highly acclaimed publication. We can neither confirm nor deny this.