Detroit, MI—Catholic priest Trevor Noll has openly denied absolution to Brendan Eich.

Many believe that Priest Noll has personal reasons. But in order to maintain legitimacy he provided several technicalities. Namely, Trevor Noll thinks that the initial JavaScript implementation should've supported class-based inheritance, not prototype-based inheritance. The priest quotes The Bible:

>“You belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.(Corinthians 3:23)

>“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” (Colossians 3:23-24)