Programming Developer says he can fix the Suez canal problem by adding more containers onto the ship A quarter-mile-long, Japanese-owned container ship en route from China to Europe has been stuck in the Suez canal for several days. It is blocking more than a hundred other ships,
Programming God continues to allow new JS frameworks despite endless prayer The official spokesperson of the Roman Catholic Church and The Holy See published a press release filled with clearly worrying undertones. The Church is saying that God still continues to
Science 14% of energy consumption on Earth attributed to package managers installing other package managers According to the latest Climate Change Reports, nearly 14% of total energy consumption on Earth is attributed solely to package managers installing other package managers as dependencies. For example, npm
Startups Hacker hacks into startup, rewrites complex backend with PostgreSQL and cron, forces CEO to fire 40% of devs and devops A hacker of unknown origins hacked into servers of Complify, a rapidly growing VC-funded startup. When Complify's security specialists noticed the breach, it was too late. However, unexpectedly, the hacker's
Programming VSCode releases AI-powered "recommended line of code" feature Witnessing tremendous success of various AI-powered recommendation systems increase engagement across multiple software projects, maintainers of VSCode, a popular text editor and light IDE, released an AI-powered feature of their
Programming Programmer surprised name change is so difficult after naming his son "asdf" It will takes weeks until all the paperwork is done. Until then, an 8 month old British boy is still legally asdf Graham. It's an unfortunate temporary name given by
Programming C++ developer hears son's first word 'NaN', suspects adultery Senior C++ engineer Bear Bigbirdtrup's idyllic family life changed forever as soon as he heard his son's first word: 'NaN'. The seed of doubt has been planted. Few weeks later
Programming NodeJS developer refuses to believe that gigahertz means billion hertz During a heated online discussion in one of Github's many threads, a young NodeJS developer firmly refused to believe that "giga" in gigahertz means "billion". In an emotional tantrum, they
Programming Rust developers accused of Cargo cult Software developers specializing in Rust, a niche systems programming language, found themselves under pressure lately when a wider community of programmers worldwide started to accuse them of openly adhering to
Programming NoSQL fan hospitalized with alcohol poisoning after discovering PostgreSQL New Orleans, LA—A young web developer with extensive experience in NoSQL technologies such as MongoDB has been hospitalized with acute alcohol poisoning after attending a virtual meetup. The apparent
Science Authors of "reproducible builds" promise "runnable software" by 2027 A group of talented software developers behind the famous reproducible builds paradigm has announced that "runnable software" will be achieved by 2027. The concept of runnable software is widely believed
Programming Haskell programmer attempts to live without side effects, found asphyxiated in black box Peter Summentyp, a software developer from Baden-Baden, Germany was found dead in the basement of his house. Peter's body was sealed in a large black metallic box, in an apparent
Programming VIM user goes missing after discovering mouse A French lifelong VIM user Albert Colónque gone missing hours after telling his coworkers via email about discovering a computer mouse for the first time. Family members and colleagues are
Programming Docker evangelist's will demands personal graveyard for single coffin A 17 sq. mi patch of forest near Waterloo, Ontario is about to be destroyed in order to clean up the plot for the construction of a large graveyard which
Programming Dark mode editors yield better software than static typing A new research from the Institute of Static Human Operated Transparency and General Universal Neocomputing (IoSHOTGUN) concludes that statically typed programming languages do not yield as big of improvement in
Programming Popular git hosting changes 'master' to 'mister', claims sexism is not as bad as slavery Many open source projects collectively decided to abandon the default git branch naming system which contains the name "master" for the main branch. "Master" has heavy slavery- and racism-related connotations.
Programming Homeless person mistaken for senior software engineer caught crashing tech meetups for food Patrick and Katy, a couple of vigilant attendees of developer meetups in Berlin, Germany started to notice the same face appearing at completely different events. The bearded, casually stylish person
Programming Statically typed language enthusiast doesn't recognize his newlywed wife after she took his last name A team of marriage counsellors, divorce attorneys and computer scientists are unable to resolve a tricky situation. Jeremy Monoyd, 37, seemed perfectly happy on his wedding day. However, as soon
Programming git push --force is 'sexy' and 'badass' according to survey A comprehensive survey about version control among software developers of numerous genders, sexual orientations and ethnic backgrounds yields interesting results: git push --force is sexy, badass and dangerous, but in
Programming .NET developer's family does not know his blog is hosted on Linux To save some money on hosting fees senior developer Scott [REDACTED] migrated his ASP.NET Core web blog to Linux VMs. While the decision was solely based on cost Scott
Programming Programmer banished from society for using a mouse in VIM Young software developer's life was turned upside down in an unfortunate series of escalating events. Fired from his job, disowned by parents and later completely banished from society, John Smith
Programming Senior developer successfully converted 12 lines of Bash script into complex microservice architecture An experienced senior software developer managed to achieve an incredible expansion of complexity by converting a short bash script into a system powered by microservices. "I had a moment of
Programming PHP renamed to PythonScript in an attempt to refresh the brand As Python's popularity continues to grow steadily, the PHP community makes an attempt to refresh its brand by pulling the same trick JavaScript did in 1995. To avoid possible confusion,
Programming Programming interviews now test for proper use of emojis and GIFs in Slack Thanks to new legislation, starting June 3rd, 2020 all software development job interviews in California must include comprehensive testing of proper use of emojis and GIFs in the context of
Programming Open source maintainer apologizes for having a daytime job The numerous users of a popular free and open source app PureTorrentDownloader written by a solo developer can now lower their anger and frustration. Peter Pain, the author of PureTorrentDownloader,
